Sunday, February 27, 2011

how can a guy like you be that shy?

how can a guy like you be that shy?
how can a guy like you be that shy? by xX₭ṟ₳ⱬϔ♥ℓυℓυXx on

how? you are so nice and awesome and cute.... it makes no sense.... GAH!

can't wait til monday! ;3

10 day challenge:
5 foods:
1) sushi
2)chinese take-out
5)artichokes, grapefruit, blueberries and sour cream and sugar, choc chip cookies, tacos, etc!!!!! :)

31 day letter challenge:
Day 14: someone you drifted away from-
Dear Someone I've drifted away from,
I haven't talked to you in several months. you were my 1st great guy friend. my BEST guy friend in fact and now we never get to talk. you "lost your phone" which I am still suspicious of and when I try to hang with you you always have other plans. it seems like your trying to avoid me? why?? I know you used to have a crush on me but I just want to be friends. I'm sorry. one of these days im going to walk down to your house and pull you away from your playstation and make you talk to me. by the way...did your family enjoy the cookies I dropped off? we never did get to make any together, huh?
Cya around,

30 day challenge, all in one go!:

Day1- your current relationship:
I am single but I really want to date this guy that, if you look back at some of my other sets, you will soon be sick of hearing about lol

Day2-where you'd like to be in 10 years:
I want to be either out or still in college to be a graphic designer, web designer, art teacher, English teacher, or
editor/writer/critic. :) and I want to live in Philly with my boyfriend and a puppy x3

Day 3-your views on drugs and alchohol:
I have never tried drugs and I have never gotten drunk on alcohol (a little tipsy tho...). I honestly think that alcohol should be illegal and pot should be legal. pot effects your body way less than alcohol does and you are less likely to do extremely stupid things while high then drunk.. my parents believe the same as me and my mother has told me that I could try pot if I wanted to but I have chosen to stay drug free... :)

Day 4-your views on religion:
I am not religious.. I don't go to church or synagogue but technically I am half Christian and half Jewish because my mom is Jewish and my dad is Christian. I celebrate holidays but I know the bible less than I know rocket science.

Day 5-a time you thought about ending your own life:
I had a very depressing period at the beginning of 9th grade where I cried all the time and hated myself and life and I carved a hart into my arm with a safety pin to try and make myself feel better but it didn't work so I never cut again... another time I tried to stop breathing, It was strange because I was really calm and not sad that much but I just wanted to die.... I almost made myself pass out.

Day 6- write 30 interesting facts about yourself:
1) I love sushi
2) I believe in mystical beings lol
3) my grandma and mom are hippies and my dad is a punk
4) I always feel ugly and fat
5) I am very shy though it may not seem it
6) I hate being touched by my family
7) I hate compliments
8) I admit my nerdy/dorky/geekyness to everyone
9) I wish I were more confident
10) I never feel appreciated yet look at # 7
11) I wish I could read people's minds
12) I believe in karma
13) i am obsessed with music
14) I like to write
15) I have written 15 chapters of a book
16) I have a diary that I tape pictures into sometimes
17) I used to like to knit and sew
18) I heard my mom and grandma talking about how I've changed from when I was a little kid and I started to cry
19) I cry over odd things
20) I am on a robotics team
21) I regret quitting orchestra
22) am strangely excited to have guy friends
23) I have a friend from england
24) I like to cook
25) I am lazy
26) I lie the least amount possible and people are always surprised at my honesty
27) I have contemplated robbery
28) I have contemplated suicide
29) I have wondered what it would be like to be someone else
30) I greatly dislike my dad the majority of the time

Day 7 - your zodiac sign:
I'm a Leo but ever description of a Leo is different so I don't know.

Day 8 - A moment you felt most satisfied with your life:
Camp. because I didn't have to feel stressed about people at home.

Day 9- How you hope your future will be like:
everyone hopes to be successful, right?I want to be loved and give love as much as possible.

Day 10- discuss your first love and first kiss:
okay my first love was to a boy who didnt love me back, cliche right? My first kiss... uh I technically had 2 but I don't count either of them because they were both on the cheek (me to him) lol

Day 11- put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop-up:
1) Miss Murder - AFI
2) Faint - Linkin Park
3) Several Ways to Die trying - Dashboard Confessional
4) Cash Cash - Cash Cash
5) This is a refuge - The rocket summer
6) Hello, Goodbye - the beatles
7) Broke - Modest Mouse
8) Pressure (acoustic) - Paramore
9) Soldier in a box - hot hot heat
10) the flood - escape the fate

Day 12 bullet your whole day:
Boring day lol
1) slept til 12
2) dead tired
3) woke up
4) ate a grapefruit
5) went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth
6) made a protein shake thing and ate it
7) went on computer
8) still on computer
9) taked to british friend and listened to him on electric guitar for a while
10) talked to his british friends too
11) got made fun of by his british friends for the fact that I'm american
12) went on facebook
13) went on poly
14) mad a set
15) waiting for lunch
16) writing this
17) ******MISSING INFERNO!!!***** lol

Day 13- somewhere you'd move or visit:
england and anywhere else besides here....or move into the house next door to inferno.... :3

Day 14- your earliest memory:
Me sitting in my parents bed and getting fought over because they both wanted to hold me. then they turned on a disney christmas movie thing... it was bizarre.

Day 15-Your favorite tumblrs:
I don't really go on tumblr but I've seen the "Y U NO"s and they are really funny. and trolololo xD

Day 16- Your views on mainstream music:
As long as it sounds good Im down for it. I hate justin beiber and miley cyrus and jonas bros tho.

Day 17- your highs and lows this past year:
Depression. girraffe, and trev and stuff like that. uh robotics and anna and inferno are some high points. I like my classes. idk

Day 18- Your beliefs:
on what?

Day 19- Disrespecting your parents:
meh idc about my dad and sometimes I do to my mom but I feel bad about it. I am in a fight with my grandma because she always uses me and my brother as her servants so I yelled at her and now she is threatening me so I will say sorry, but I refuse. Maybe she will understand my strong feelings toward her disrespect towards us and herself indirectly.

Day 20- how important do you think education is:
very. I am happy to be educated, however, I hate waking up early. :/

Day 21: One of your favorite shows:

Day 22- how have you changed in the past to years:
alot. I am way less romantic and naive...if you would believe it. xD

Day 23-Give pictures of 5 guys who are famous and you find attractive:
1) Michael cera
2) Brendon Urie
3) Andy Six
4) Jay Baruchel
5) Logan Lerman

day 24 - Your favorite movie and what it is about:
zombieland and it is about zombies lol xD

day 25- someone who fascinates you and why:
take a guess....
if you guessed inferno you were correct. and you have to replace "who fascinates you" with "who you are infatuated with" lol

Day 26- What kind of person attracts you:
messy hair, tall (usually), nice smile, funny, nice, bookish, skater, guitar player ...stuff like that :)

Day 27- A problem that you have had:
I have had many problems

Day 28- Something that you miss:

Day 29-Goals for the next 30 days:
talk to and ask out inferno. get less stressed. become more confident. if he says no don't be too crushed. try to be myself and do my best.

Day 30- Your highs and lows of this month:
I guess I'll have to wait and see ;]

Friday, February 25, 2011

the bustling in my mind is making my head uncomfortable

the bustling in my mind is making my head uncomfortable
the bustling in my mind is making my head uncomfortable by xX₭ṟ₳ⱬϔ♥ℓυℓυXx featuring yellow handbags

sleep-deprived, stressed out, love-struck, and self-conscious are not a good mix.

So this is my own personal comet of random. It is my happy place...however, it is not so happy right now because it is only making my life worse. The only thing the above comet is missing is inferno... and he's there, just on the dark side that you can't see at this very moment. in fact he is the only thing on that other side because he takes up so much space in my head.

Today was the best Friday ever. It was the worst until I saw him. and then continued to suck. But the fact that he was there and as I tried to talk to my friend I saw him staring at me made me so happy. oh my god. :) There is a dance coming up and I'm think about possibly asking him? I don't know.. I'd probably be too nervous and stutter while trying to ask him. step by step. slow by slow.

Kay 31 day challenge:
Dear someone I wish would forgive me,
We had such a long fight that still does not seem to be over. w haven't had our daily deep conversations in ages and I miss the you I used to know. I am happy that you have half forgiven me.
Love you,

4 Books: This is a major Tuffie
~The host - Stephanie Meyer (and don't b*tch about it! it was actually a great book despite some of twilight's downfalls)
~The mortal instruments series
~13 reasons why(great book. sad, but great.)
~A million little pieces (I actually like that book. I love the way he writes and his story is inspiring. the epilogue is reallllllllly depressing tho.. it's like "that's great! everyone dies!")

And Finally....
25 days 25 songs!!!!!!: (I'm skipping the 25 days part tho and just answering all the questions lol):

Day 01- A song from your childhood:
The Mikayla song!! they used to sell these tapes that had your name in all the songs and made it sound like they were singing to you. I used to love that.

Day 02- a song that reminds you of your most recent ex-Bf/Gf:
Rainbow Veins by Owl City because that was his favorite song. I always thought it was really great that he was into a love song like that lol.

Day 03 - A song that reminds you of one or both of your parents:
All you need is love by the Beatles because we always sing that at family parties.

Day 04- A song that calms you down:
Everything by Rob is just really nice and beautiful but also kinda sad.

Day 05- A song that is often stuck in your head:
Forget you by Cee Lo Green because it is so catchy.

Day 06-A song that reminds you of a best friend:
Autobiography by ashley Simpson lol we used to sing along all the time. pretty much the entire Ashley Simpson album Autobiography. xD

Day 07 - A song that reminds you of the past summer:
Ohkayyyy... uh I have 3. #1- hey Juliet by LMNT (don't ask xDD) #2- Do it right this time by Ian from the tv show Huge aaand last but not least #3- On the brightside by NevershoutNever hahaha :)

Day 08- A song that reminds you of your first love:
Um the entire Ludo album "Your Awful, I love you". appropriate album title, wouldn't you say? xD

Day 09- A song that makes you hopeful:
Love at first sight by Nickasaur lol <3 great song

Day 10- A song by your favorite band:
Oh jeezusss that's a hard one. okay..uhhhh several ways to die trying by Dashboard Confessional. they are my favorite band I think. besides the beatles and my mounds of other favorites lol xD Dashboard Confessional is just such a great sound and very calming.

Day 11- A song on the soundtrack of your favorite movie:
okay I'm just gonna say Black sheep by metric from the movie scott pilgrim vs the world. I have alot of favorite movies but I really like that song so... :]

Day 12- The last song you heard:
Gimme sympathy by Metric lol

Day 13 - A song that reminds you of a former friend:
Uhhhhhhh touchdown turnaround by hellogoodbye.... hmm yeah.

Day 14 - A song that reminds you of your boyfriend/girlfriend:
pshhh future boyfriend lol. INFERNO <3 uh the story by Brandi Carlile :D

Day 15 - A song that you love singing along to:
The entire soundtrack of Dr. horrible's sing-a-long blog. no joke xD

Day 16 - A song that has made you cry:
kay there is 2: #1- Another little hole by Aqualung and #2- perfect (the acoustic version) by simple plan .... :|

Day 17- a song that makes you want to dance:
hmm all of em :)

Day 18- A song that you rarely listen to:
phhhhh none

Day 19- The first song alphabetically in your Itunes library:
A-hole by Bowling for soup xDDDD hahahaha

Day 20- the last song alphabetically in your itunes library:
99 biker friends by bowling for soup... funny that both the first and the last song are bowling for soup songs. lol

Day 21- Your favorite song:
Are you kidding??!

Day 22- A song that someone has sung to you:
Short skirt, long jacket by Cake lolllllll xDD best memories ever

Day 23- A song that you cannot stand to listen to:
Any Miley Cyrus or Justin Beiber. sorry. no...just no.

Day 24- A song that you have danced to with your best friend:
many many many of them lol

Day 25- A song you could listen to all day without getting tired of:
Hmmm Dream by Brandi Carlile :] <3


Saturday, February 19, 2011

I have dreams

I have dreams
I have dreams by xX₭ṟ₳ⱬϔ♥ℓυℓυXx on

Brandi Carlile is so inspirational.
"Mind, can you read my mind?
Has it come undone, am I showin' signs?
I can't have you, but I have dreams
And I have dreams, I have dreams"

Dear someone who caused me a lot of pain,
I honestly have nothing to say to you.
no rant.

3 films:
-Yellow Submarine


Hey!!! I can update my blog from polyvore now!!!!!! expect tons of art!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Peace, love, and crazy making,